Welcome to Declassified, a weekly comedy column.
As we all know, Article 11 of the European Convention on Human Rights states that it is “both reasonable and acceptable, if you come across someone playing a guitar on a beach or in a park public, to crush his boring head”.
Alas, it appears that the passengers on an easyJet flight from Poland were clearly not by the way with their human rights and failed to take approved action when a Singaporean man and his oddly happy friends started singing a Christian worship song at 30,000 feet. Perhaps they were hoping for divine intervention to protect them from COVID, as only one person in the video clip of the incident is wearing a mask.
Plus, it was a flight on easyJet, a company that would (and may already) charge you extra to breathe! What is the surcharge for praising God? And are you allowed to put a guitar in the luggage compartments?
Most people on social media seemed unimpressed with the mid-flight religious chant, with Ilhan Omar, a US congressman who is Muslim, Tweeter“I think my family and I should have a prayer session the next time I’m on a plane. How do you think this will end?
The in-flight singer has been identified as Jonathan Neo, who was returning from Poland, where he had apparently been play for people who had fled the war in Ukraine and locked themselves in Polish train stations. Haven’t these people suffered enough?
Speaking of being imposed unnecessary things: the hairy chest of Emmanuel Macron. From the man who was photographed wearing a hoodie for the authentic “I’m like Volodymyr Zelenskyy, vote for me” look, now we have the “I’m like the Bee Gees of the late 70s, vote for me ” watch!
The main task of Macron and his rival for the French presidency, Marine Le Pen, is to try to win over those who voted for someone else in the first round, in particular left-wing supporters Jean-Luc Mélenchon. , who finished third. Are leftists particularly influenced by hairy chests? Both Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels had impressive beards, so there’s a reasonable chance they also had hairy chests. Does anyone within the Left group in the European Parliament have an answer to this pressing question?
“How nice to see the two leading candidates in the 2020 U.S. presidential election finally getting along.”
Can you do better? E-mail [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque
Last week, we gave you this picture:
Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best of our mailbag – there’s no price other than the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is much more valuable than money or booze.
“Your parents, when they can’t agree on what to order”, by Shivang Gupta
Paul Dalison is POLITICS‘s Slot News Editor.
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